College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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