I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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