If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize