tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize