Dual....:-)
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
