she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
