is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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