I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize