When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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