Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
