dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize