whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
