Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
