Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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