mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
