belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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