Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
babies were throwing up all over the place
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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