Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
