At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize