That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
