She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
