Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize