Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
