what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
