if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
