Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
