in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
