his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I could make wine with my vomit
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
