The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize