i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
