Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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