You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
