I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
