does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
