he thought i was a dude.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
