normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she pinky promised me she was 18
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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