Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
