The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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