I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
