if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
COCAINE IS GR8
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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