Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
