garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
