if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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