thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
