Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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