So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
