spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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