i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
