I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
