garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
