ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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