apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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