My liver just broke up with me...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
