Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
