it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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