there's paper in my vomit.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
