I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
