1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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