she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
