I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i drank out of a bidet.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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