i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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