Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
