I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
