If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
