Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
