Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
