After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
